Bobby, I want you to know…

Bobby, I want you to know that all humans are the same.

But I am different from Suzy, she showed me, down there in the naughty parts.  She showed Harry too and Harry has a pi-pi like me.  Harry says that makes babies.

That is quite unimportant.  The thing you must remember Bobby is that all humans are the same.

But what about mummies and daddies? Cant I make a baby with my pi-pi when I am big?

Bobby, listen to me, all humans are the same.

But mummies have boobies and daddies do not.

It doesn’t make any difference Bobby, nowadays we are enlightened.  You can have two daddies or two mummies.

What does enlightened mean mummy?

It means we now know better.  We have become superior and have insight.

What is insight mummy?

It means we know better.   We can see things that people in the past couldn’t see.  We now know that there is no difference between human beings.  We have the government on our side and they will get very cross with anybody who says that there is a difference between men and women.

Why have they got different names then mummy?

This is a residue of the past.  It is an unfortunate thing that cluttered and perverted human minds.

What is residue mummy?

It is something left over from long, long ago and doesn’t have any meaning today. In the past people were very primitive and stupid.

Do you mean that people were stupid for thousands and thousands of years mummy?

Yes they were.  It is only since we were children that we have realised how perverted and stupid humans were.

Is grandpop stupider than you?

Never mind that. We all develop.

Will you be stupider than me, mummy?

Adults are always cleverer than children.

What does perverted mean mummy?

It means taking the wrong direction.  It means having evil and wrong thoughts in your mind.  We are not going to be perverted anymore because we are superior.

What does superior mean mummy?

It means we are much better than everybody else.

But I thought you said that all humans were the same mummy?

We know much better now.  We have done away with stupid things like believing in God and having gender discrimination and racial discrimination and all sorts of other kinds of discrimination.

But if we don’t have a daddy who is going to fix the tiles on the roof like our daddy used to do?

We will get someone from the building company.

Will he be a man like daddy, mummy?

Don’t mention that lazy, self-centred son of  a bitch ever again.  I don’t want you talking or thinking about him.  All he has to do is to keep himself alive long enough to continue paying maintenance.  He is funny in the head, Bobby.

But he was always nice to me.  I used to like him.

Do not say things like that, if you do not want mummy to become extremely angry and beat you.

But I used to play trains with him.  I liked that.  Suzy didn’t like trains but she had all those dolls.

That is just conditioning, Bobby.  Everyone should have the same likes and dislikes.  It is a perversion and if your grandmother hadn’t insisted, Suzy would like trains and you would like dolls by now.

What is conditioning, mummy?

Conditioning is forcing people to be something that they aren’t.  It is called anti-stereotyping.

But no one forced me to like trains, mummy.  I like trains and Suzy likes her dolls.  She also likes her dolls house and playing with the toy tea set that aunty gave us once.

Well that is not going to continue for much longer because I have sent them all to the fete where they will be sold to ensure that little children in Africa will become happy.

Why do the little children in Africa like dolls if we are not allowed to have them?

You must remember Bobby that we are a superior civilization. We now know how to do things which people in the past didn’t know how to do.

So we are much better than other humans used to be?

Yes Bobby, we are enlightened.  We know what people should do. Fortunately, we have governments who can force people to change attitudes.  It must be drilled into them that everyone is the same.

But what about Akim, he is different.

Do not ever, ever say anything like that in the future.  That is called racism and it is the most awful thing you can say about anyone.

But Akim is different, mummy.  He talks funny.

That is only temporary.  He will assimilate.  He will learn to talk the same as you and he will be exactly the same as you.

But I don’t want to be the same as Akim, he looks funny and his grandma talks funny but she has been here in England for years and years and years.

Yes, Bobby, it has taken the government some time to get the power to force people to be the same.

But I don’t want to be like Akim.  I want to be like Suzy and you and daddy and aunty and grandma.

For Christ’s sake child, don’t ever say or think like that.  You are a wicked, wicked child.  When are you going to learn that all humans are the same?

But mummy, they don’t seem to be the same.

The trouble with you Bobby is that you are seeing things through perverted, prejudiced eyes.  It is that father of yours and his mother, they have contaminated you.  I wish I knew how to cleanse you of these filthy ideas.  When Isobel moves in we will have to work on it.

Is Isobel your friend from the office?  Is she the one that rubs you all the time?

Yes, Bobby and she is going to be your new mummy.

But I don’t want a new mummy.  I have a mummy.  I like my mummy.  I don’t like Isobel. I don’t want Isobel.   I hate Isobel.  Isobel must not come here.

Bobby, I am afraid that is what is going to happen.  There is no argument about this.  It is perfectly natural and Isobel is already doing a very good job of disciplining you and Suzy.  She will make you into better, more balanced people.  And we might have another baby together.

She was talking to herself.  Bobby had run out into the estate to try and find solace with Suzy.


About jp

Orthopaedic Surgeon
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